Leo's Ponders

February 3rd 2025 I started my blog. It was a very random idea that I surprised myself with. What makes me even more surprised is the fact that I stuck with it.  So because it's my one year of having this blog let's talk about 2025! The year of the snake. I told a friend that I felt like I just gained another form of consciousness this year because of like everything I learned so far. It was such an interesting year for me, in a good way and in a bad one. I feel like this year I tapped into my creative bag and really worked on showing people what I'm capable of. I started selling my jewelry, I got into some art exhibitions, started my blog, and I started DJing. I've always felt like I couldn't be put into a box and I was capable of doing so many things and honing so many talents and skills. I feel like this year really showed that. This year was also ridiculously busy. I worked a lot. Like so much. Whether it be schoolwork, job work, or just personal work. A lot of ...

My first blog of 2026 !!! Last year I've had many dreams. I don't typically remember them and I just began writing them down, or at least trying to.  But a reoccurring dream I've had this year always had something to do with me not being able to speak up and feeling so powerless. And that looked different in each dream, but I can always tell what they were saying to me.  So I'm gonna just talk about power. And by power I don't mean it in the sense that I rule over anyone or anything, but more so the power that I hold to myself. Being able to speak up, and voice your boundaries. Not letting people play you in your face. That kind of thing.  I like to think of myself as an understanding individual. I do believe in fairness and harmony but I also do think my way is the right way most times. At a certain point though, how understanding can I be before I see that I am doing a disservice to myself? I feel like I reached a point where me being understanding was me settling...

A reoccurring sentence I've been hearing recently is "Leo you can't have it all figured out, and that's okay".  Since November I've been feeling tremendously lost about life. My career direction, my identity, my wants and needs. Literally everything about Leo was confusing Leo. I journaled about it, I did so many self-assessments because I just wanted an answer. I wanted to know. I wanted to know that I was on the right path I wanted to know I was making the right decision and I wanted to trust both of those things. I asked for advice from so many people. My peers, my boss, my therapist and they all kind of told me the same thing: make a decision that makes sense for now. But I didn't know what I wanted for now. I just needed something. A sign that I was doing the right things, a sign that I needed to change something.  What if those signs I was looking for were the signs all along? I can't 100% predict that every decision I make now will land me exact...

The past few weeks have been a little crazy for me. Like guys, what is going on fr. I take a really long time to process my feelings about anything. And these past three weeks I feel like I've been in a daze, but I think it's because I've been neglecting how I feel for the sake of being in the moment. But now that those moments are over and I'm reflecting on them I'm realizing so much. I've loved, I've lost, but most importantly I learned!!! I know all of this still doesn't make sense but bear with me I swear I'm making a point here.  I don't have many regrets in this life because I really do look at every situation as a learning opportunity, even if it doesn't end in my best interest. I think I learned some of my best lessons when I unfortunately went through a hellish situation.  Anyway, I'm not super good at transitioning my thoughts sometimes but here are some lessons I learned from September: - Sometimes the right moment is quite lit...

I have a lot of ideas for my blog. But a lot of times I do not know how to actually word those thoughts, and one of the topics I wanted to talk about is self-expression. I've grown up in an environment where I wasn't allowed to express myself healthily and properly. When I did I was invalidated, gaslit, all the negative stuff. So quite naturally I kinda just stopped, and I kept my thoughts and feelings to myself because I didn't feel safe. I didn't feel safe.  Not even just verbally expressing myself, but physically too. I couldn't wear what I wanted to wear or present myself the way I wanted to because that's not what other people wanted. It was somehow always about what other people wanted or how they felt, and I had to feel how they felt. Isn't that weird? People have told me that I was mysterious, and they could never tell how I was feeling. Which I thought was weird because I talk so much! I literally do not stop talking, but I guess I wasn't actua...

 March was a really long month.  I feel like I did something every day in March, whether it was explore, hang out with friends, tune into YouTube, work, craft, go out and dance, whatever. I stayed on the go. And as I reflect on last month, I can say I feel quite fulfilled by the constant movement.  I've also oddly enough had people pop back into my life. I'm not sure what that was about.  I enjoyed my spring break as well. I hung out with friends I don't get to see every day, nearly everyday. I love my friends, and quality time is probably my top love language. So I definitely felt loved being around them for that long. We saw the eclipse, We went out and danced, We listened to jazz, We did this, We did that. It was very fun. Plus the splendid weather ?!? Awesome sauce.  A little astrology talk: the sign Leo rules my 11th house, and the 11th house rules friendships, networking, leadership, yada yada. I won't get too deep into it but I thrive and highly value fri...